Dune... Arrakis... Desert planet...
Good evening.
I am Paul Muad'Dib's lesser known cousin, Francisco Muad'dib, a.k.a. GOP-Muad'dib. Like my successfully messianic cousin, I too can tell the future. So it is with great pleasure that I tell you what is going to happen in tonight's debates.
First off, I will be greatly, HUGELY disappointed in Sen. Biden's blatant sexism. The comments he will make, the tone he will take, his body language, his tie, everything will show nothing but elitist -- and yes sexist -- disdain for Gov. Moose-Hunter Like-Such-As Palin.
Our loyal and good GOP brethren and sistren will be blanketing the airwaves with their completely righteous indignation at the blatant sexism of Biden, Obama, Ifill, and everyone else who doesn't like us. Poor, defenseless Gov. Like-Such-As will never have suffered from such unabashed attacks on her, and THOSE ATTACKS WILL BE WHOLLY BASELESS BUT FOR HER VAGINA.
This will really be a losing night for Sen. Biden. His contemptuous attitude, sexist demeanor, and general bullying nature will severely turn off the vast majority of the American public. His baseless attacks upon a poor, defenseless gun-nut will show to the American people at large what a great asshole Sen. Biden truly is, and show yet again how the Democrats of America hate all poor, defenseless, gun nuts everywhere.
The performance of Ms. Ifill will be equally as partisan. Her questions, superficially "fair", will be secret "gotcha" questions, with which are only barely a mask for her liberal God-hating socialist-loving NON-MOOSE-HUNTING agenda.
And Gov. Palin's so-called "gaffe" will be exactly the opposite. I believe that there are far more Americans who have difficulties finding Earth on a map than is commonly believed. Gov. Palin is simply another one of these noble masses, and will be viewed by them as their hero.
Thank you for your time.
As an aside, this is an excellent time time to get into the stock market.